Sunday, 24 March 2013

Darth Vader & Nathan Hale vs Rayman & Master Chief







Venue: Large, open battlefield surrounded by mountainous terrain

Darth Vader and Nathan Hale stand at one end of the battlefield, Rayman and Master Chief at the other. Each fighter charges toward the center of the field, ready to fight. As soon as they are in range of one another, Hale and Master Chief begin to open fire, Hale armed with a Bullseye, Master Chief with a standard assault rifle. Hale's regenerative abilities and Master Chief's futuristic power armour mean that neither combatant falls easily, but Master Chief's years of experience and intense training enable him to accurately shoot Nathan Hale in the head enough times to kill him before Darth Vader is close enough to assist him. Hale collapses in a bloody heap as Vader attacks Master Chief with a Force Choke, lifting him off his feet. Rayman charges at Darth Vader as Vader uses the Force to lift his lightsaber and jam it through Master Chief's visor, penetrating his brain and killing Master Chief in milliseconds, before dropping him to the ground like a discarded ragdoll. Distracted, Vader fails to notice Rayman running at him. Rayman spins and hits Darth Vader in the stomach with a succession of strong punches, propelled by the momentum of his charge.

Rayman desperately tries to finish off Darth Vader by winding up another punch as Darth Vader attempts a Force Choke, Vader's efforts in vain as Rayman has no neck. The punch hits Vader in the stomach, injuring him further, but Darth Vader, using the Force, pulls the lightsaber from Master Chief's skull and effortlessly slices Rayman's head in half. Darth Vader and Nathan Hale are victorious.

Sonic the Hedgehog vs Rocky Balboa


Venue: Boxing Ring

Sonic charges into the ring first, tapping his foot on the ground as he waits for Rocky to show up. Finally, Rocky steps through the ropes, muttering unintelligibly. The bell rings and Balboa begins carefully moving around the ring as Sonic charges a Spin Dash, propelling himself in a ball toward Rocky, who is far too slow to dodge in time, and is knocked backwards. Sonic then jumps into the air to hit the stunned pugilist with a Homing Attack, which hits Rocky's head before he has time to react. Sonic follows up with a second Homing Attack, this time managing to kick Rocky in the jaw, breaking it. Struggling to regain his composure, Rocky throws an uppercut at Sonic as he attempts a third attack. Combined with the speed with which Sonic is flying in his direction, the punch causes significant damage to Sonic, knocking him backwards as rings fly all over the ring. Rocky throws a powerful left hook at Sonic, but, having recently taken damage, Sonic is invulnerable as he charges another Spin Dash, picking up a couple of rings as he does so. More prepared this time, Rocky attempts to dodge, but the attack catches his leg, knocking him to the ground.

The referee begins counting to ten as Rocky lies on the canvas, his jaw broken, his leg injured, and with Sonic doing some sort of celebratory breakdance nearby. Images of his wife Adrian run through Rocky's mind, as inspirational music plays. Rocky pictures his late trainer, Mick, imploring to get up for one more round, and as the crowd cheers, Rocky struggles to his feet. Rocky says something dramatic which no one is able to properly understand, then proceeds to hammer Sonic with a flurry of fast, powerful punches. A montage begins, containing shots of Balboa and Sonic trading blows and round cards displaying ever-increasing numbers. Finally, after an exhausting bout, Rocky successfully lands a devestating uppercut to Sonic, fracturing his skull and causing him to bleed to death horrifically onto the canvas. Rocky is declared the winner. He raises his arm in triumph, as the crowd roars with approval and a despondent Tails weeps over Sonic's corpse.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Write for ECB

It seems that, despite being knowledgeable of almost all things ever created, I'm not an expert on every single franchise from which you, my audience, want to see characters fighting each other. I have two choices: half-assedly write fights starring characters about whom I know nothing, or get some more writers. After considering choosing the first option and leaving to eat chips, I steeled my determination, and now implore anyone interested to write some fights for me, in order to keep the quality at a decent standard. If you're interested in writing some fights for this blog, email me at joemegson94@gmail.com for details. You will of course be credited for any published fights you write. Right now, I'm especially looking for someone knowledgeable on comic book characters to write a fight involving The Hulk, Wonder Woman, Superman and Hal Jordan. Thanks.

Requested Fight: Han Solo vs Jack Bauer vs Aragorn vs Marty McFly vs John McClane vs Katniss Everdeen







Venue: Outskirts of a backwater village, entrenched in a deep forest

Each fighter simultaneously enters the battlefield, armed with their respective weapons, except for Katniss, who is nowhere to be seen, and an unarmed Marty McFly, who, to the shock of the others, comes careening down the road in a DeLorean, straight toward Han Solo. Solo fires off a desperate shot from his blaster pistol at the car and dives to the side. The shot misses McFly, but Solo succeeds in escaping from the attack and quickly gets to his feet. Suddenly, something flies in from the darkness - an arrow, fired by Katniss from elsewhere, hits Han Solo directly in his chest, dropping him to his knees in agony as blood begins to pour from the wound. Simultaneously, Jack Bauer turns to Aragorn, who stands nearby, and fires a shot from a pistol in his direction. Aragorn narrowly ducks, the inaccurate bullet grazing his shoulder, and begins to charge at Bauer, sword ready. Bauer fires a second shot at Aragorn, hitting his face with accuracy just as Aragorn slashes Bauer's side with the sword, then falls to the ground, bleeding to death. McClane then fires a shot from some distance away at Bauer, hitting him in the shoulder. Bauer turns to shoot back as McClane fires off a second bullet; with the advantage of being prepared, John McClane's shot hits Jack Bauer squarely in the head, killing him almost instantly, whereas Bauer's own shot only hits McClane in the arm, resulting in a small wound.

The DeLorean having used up the last of its gas, McFly gets out to take cover in a nearby shack. Meanwhile, Han Solo spies Katniss in the darkness of an adjacent street, as she shoots another arrow from between two buildings at McClane. The arrow narrowly misses McClane, and Han Solo fires a blast at Katniss, whose attention is focused on her new target. The powerful blast burns a hole through Katniss' chest, completely vapourising her heart and resulting in a quick, albeit painful, death. Noticing the commotion, John McClane turns to Han Solo to shoot him, but Solo quickly shoots first, hitting McClane in the arm, sending him reeling backwards and causing his shot to narrowly miss, the bullet passing Solo's ear so closely he can hear it cutting through the wind next to him. Each combatant fires a second shot at the other, but McClane prepared, ducks as he shoots, successfully avoiding Solo's blast and hitting him in the knee with a bullet. Now losing blood rapidly from the injuries to both his knee and chest. Solo fires another, desperate shot at McClane, which injures McClane's other arm as McClane fires a third bullet, successfully hitting Solo in the torso and causing him to bleed out.

Now only Marty McFly and an injured John McClane remain in the fight. McClane sees that McFly has left the battlefield and goes off in search of him. Meanwhile, McFly finds an old rake in the shack, and waits at the door, ready to defend himself. Minutes pass, and McClane opens the door to the shack. As he enters, his eyes adjusting to the darkness inside, Marty McFly hits him at full strength with the rake, deeply scratching McClane's chest. McClane, startled and in pain, fires a shot into the darkness, grazing McFly as he swings again. McClane ducks, but the rake still hits him in the side of the head. His eyes now adjusted, John McClane shoots Marty McFly in the torso, wounding him greatly, then proceeds to shoot him directly in the head at point-blank range, brutally killing McFly. John McClane wins.

Change of Address

Oh, and one more thing. From now on, if you have any fight requests, please send them to joemegson94@gmail.com. Also, just reminding you readers that you can click the "Join this site" button on the right of the page somewhere to feed my ego. And also to receive an update whenever a new post is added.

Epic Character Battles' Epic Return

There haven't been any updates for a while, due to technical difficulties (I punched my laptop and it broke), but now I'm all kitted out with a shiny second-hand computer, so ECB is back on, with more cross-universe bloodbaths for you to enjoy. I know your eyes are filled with tears of joy right now, but do try to keep reading.

Firstly, I shall respond to any fight requests I've received, then I think I'll just write like 100-and-something names in a notebook and randomise a load of fights for your reading pleasure, and to mark the revival of this awesome site, and of my staying up till 3, arguing with my friend over how exactly much damage a sword could do to Hades' armpit. You're welcome.